shenevermisses | 9th throw

9th throw - [ video ]

[It's an awful, awful feeling. Like there's something missing. Someone, actually.

She can't sleep. Because someone's supposed to be there.

Has he forgotten her? She can't really be upset or angry. She's forgotten him, after all.

But! The Journal. That's the way to go!

It's pretty straight-forward, after all, and she gets it working finally. Even has the video going.

She smiles.]

Um. Hi. My name's Clover.

Sorry. Not sure if I'm using this thing right. Hope so.

Anyway... Like... well... a lot of people. I can't remember much. Just got the little card to help me out. But...

It says I'm engaged. I'm supposed to get married.

But I... don't know who to. Which sounds really stupid, I know.

Anyway. I have this. [She holds up a chain around her neck, a single ring on the end of it. It's too big for her, definitely a man's ring. She figures it's got to be her engagement ring. Something about that -- having a man's -- seems right to her brain.] And... I think he gave it to me. So. Maybe this is a really stupid question, but I want to know.

Anyone recognize it?

I want to find him. Please? And thanks.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yep.

[He's hoping the card is bullshitting him on some parts. Like the whole 'dead' thing.

But he doesn't know what's true and what isn't.]

Mine is...well, it's stupid. Doesn't give me anything useful.

[He honestly debated showing it to her but the first one on his list is a bit of a horrible opening.

'Hi how are you. Don't remember anything? Me neither! All I know is I'm actually not alive.'

Yeah he didn't imagine that going over too well.]

Kind of lucked out with mine. Address and all. And no one's shown up to kick me out yet, so. That's good at least?

[She laughs a little. There's no fear, no hesitation, no distrust. Why shouldn't she trust people here? Like them until they give her a reason not to?]

Sorry. I... This is kind of weird, you know? Don't know what to say or not say or anything like that.

But. Well. Same situation, I guess, right? Could be more awkward. Maybe.

[He smiles a little when she laughs, the same crooked thing he's done every time before he forgot. He likes her laugh.]

Don't jinx it. I feel like this place could make it a lot more awkward if it wanted to.

[The wings and talking animals and magic tipped him off that this place isn't normal.]

So, can I ask you a question?

Edited 2012-10-01 03:34 (UTC)

Sure! [She flashes another smile. Warm and open. Because now, she has nothing to hide. She's never had to hide. Look over her shoulder. Watch her back. She's calm.]

I mean. Can't promise I can answer it. But. Hey. I can try.

Do you -- [And he stops himself. Why, though? He shouldn't feel bad about asking this question. It shouldn't be that hard...]

Have you -- I mean. [He gets frustrated with himself quickly enough - short temper and all that.]

Do you know what this place is?

[He's been told a lot about it but he hasn't got anything close to a 'life after death' response. So, naturally, he's worried.]

Not really. I've been... more concerned about... figuring out me. Who I am.

[Her smile is lessened, but it's still sincere.]

You're... trying to figure this place out? That's... really impressive. I mean... It's more than I've worried about.

My name's Clover. ...Which I already said. But. What's yours?

Uh - Cato.

[He checks his card to make sure as he says it but it sounds right? He thinks so. He hopes so.]

I just want to figure out what my card's telling the truth about. Or what it's lying about.

Cato. [She reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear as she repeats the name. She smiles a little.] Cool.

I... wish I could help...

It's fine.

[He holds a big hand up to dismiss it.]

It's just something to keep me busy really.

...I'm hoping eventually I'll remember things, yanno?

I do, too. Both of us.

Everyone, really.

I've been told this kind of thing happens often here - weird stuff I mean.

[He smirks and laughs just a little.]

Sooner than later would be good though.

[His laugh makes her laugh. It's a good sound. Comforting, somehow.]

I can definitely believe that-- that weird stuff happens here a lot.

Good luck with the whole 'finding him' thing.

[He can't figure out how to bring up how he thought she was the girl he was looking for. She didn't know his name though...so she's ruled out unfortunately.]

If you...get bored looking. I'm at the lake.

[He's going to very calmly proceed in tearing up his stupid fucking card now.]

[She doesn't even respond. Doesn't take the Journal. Probably stupid, all things considered. But there's just something about the outright offer of some sort of companionship. Some real company.

Not just someone talking over this thing.

How she finds the lake, she doesn't know. Maybe... Maybe she likes the place. There's something nice about it, she thinks, when it comes into view. Maybe she knew the way because she's been here before.

But clearing the tree line of the area takes a little work. She's inclined to hang back and look for something. She doesn't know what. So, she steps forward.

Her voice lacks confidence as she calls:]

Cato?

[He turns around quick, sitting on a rock embedded in the muddy shoreline and letting his feet dangle in the water while he waits for it to be over... or for his patience to wear out. Whichever came first.

He'd gone to the square that morning and took as much food as he could carry until he got back to the lake. There was literally no reason for him to stay here but it was far enough away from everyone that he didn't feel like he was being forced to interact with them. He'd found out about himself that he didn't like people very much. Not that it mattered.

Though when Clover walked through the trees and said his name he just sat there with his jaw working up and down a little before he finally managed something:]

....That was quick.

[There's an awful lot of paper squares shredded up in his hands.]

I've... been in my room alone for most of the day.

Figured some fresh air and all. Y'know? [She doesn't even know what she's saying at this point.

Clover smiles a little.]

...Besides. Sounded... sort of like you could use the company.

I... can go. If you want.

Nah it's fine. [He shrugs but it's accompanied by a smile to match hers. He invited her after all, he shouldn't be rude.]

S'quiet here. [He scrunches his nose up like he doesn't quite know if that's something he likes or hates.] Nobody else comes around here much I guess.

It's... nice. [Quiet, calm, isolated. It felt relaxing.] My place is really quiet, too. I mean, I can hear the people above me and all when they walk around, but that's not so bad.

If you wanna sit down, you can. [He nodded his head toward the rest of the small outcropping of rocks. His hands were too busy to gesture to it.]

I wish I knew if I had a place to stay here or not.

[Yes, Clover, he's been sleeping out here.]

Edited 2012-10-02 06:09 (UTC)

[She smiles a little, sitting on one of the rocks. Before long, her hands are a bit behind her, and she's leaning back. Casual.]

You're not staying anywhere?

[That's not good. No. Not good at all. Something could be in the forest.

What?

Something. Doesn't matter what. Something.]

Nope.

[And just like that, he lets his paper fall into the water. There's something of a breeze. Enough of one to encourage them to spread across the surface of the lake a few feet in front of him.]

I don't know where I would. Not like I've asked anyone if I can stay with them.

[Yes this is all going way over his head Clover.]

[It's disturbing to her. For some reason she can't quite make out. Maybe it's because of the abundance here.]

I'll bet you have somewhere.

[Because she has to believe that. If she has somewhere to live, everyone else here should, too.

...Without memories, she's willing to believe in a benevolent universe...

She smiles at him.]

You should try asking around tomorrow. Someone might know your name or know your stuff and be able to tell you where you live.

[A little laugh for your trouble Clover. He's not incredibly optimistic, this one.]

I've been asking since I read that stupid thing.

[He's staring at the little floating squares on the water, as if willing them to disappear along with the fog in his brain.]

Apparently someone knows who I am. Can't find 'em though.

[Not yet, some terribly stubborn part of him yells. But he's frustrated enough to seem like he doesn't give a shit anymore.]

This is so fucking frustrating.

[He grouses; showing off a little of that temper and shoving his hands over his head as he does so. It's a comforting gesture somehow. So he does it again.

[Clover doesn't even think. It's muscle memory, in a way. Some instinct.

When he pushes his hands over his head again, she's kneeling in front of him, and she repeats the gesture. But slower, running her hands through his hair.

By itself, it's not that intimate of a gesture. Close, yes, but there's nothing suggestive. It's... friendly... in a way.]

Maybe they're holed up somewhere. Might think if she goes out to find you -- [why does she think it's a girl? because it should be a girl. there should be a girl waiting for him] -- you'll come back and she won't be there. And you'll think she's forgotten you. So she's just waiting. Because she knows you'll come back.

[She smiles. For a moment, there are tears in her eyes, but she won't cry. She won't.

She withdraws her hands and puts the ring on the chain around her neck in her palm, holding it up a bit.]

Someone... someone gave me this. And I'm trying to find him. And I'm so, so scared. That he's looking for me. And we're missing each other. Every time. And that one of us is going to stop caring. And give up looking.

...And then I'll be alone.

But I've got to think that if I keep looking, he will too.

And you have to, too. Okay? Promise me.

[Promise me, Cato. We'll do it together. Promise me.]

[From the way he tenses under her hand it's clear he wasn't expecting it - nor was he sure what to think about it.

It...felt good? But it was strange. Right and wrong at the same time. Too weird. He didn't move, but his neck buckled a little as she spoke.

And he was quiet for a very, very long time before:]

Alright.

[Came out with his voice cracking.]

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