[It's easier to put it into writing, in a way. To talk about some of the things like this. If Katniss wants to, she can see the replies. Clove's learned that. She can hear what she said, too. How she talked about the Games. ...Can hear her betrayal of herself, of the fear and anger she has at being pushed in every direction by people who don't like how she's been taught to live.
Pushed every direction but the one she wants to go in.
Like the Academy. Like the Capitol. Like the Games.
Even here, there's a "right" and a "wrong" choice. They don't want individual thought. They want agreement. That's the only kind of correct individual thought. Just like every tribute should be unique in their interviews. Unique by design of their mentor and stylist. It's not the real boy or girl on that stage, not really. Sometimes it shines through, but usually it's just the act. Even the outlying districts do it.
But Katniss.
Katniss has been in the Games. Not just seen them, not just heard about them. The cameras are always watching, but some personas can't always hold up. She might not know everything -- like the trackerjacker mess -- but she saw the end. She saw what a proud career was reduced to. Because she trusted someone who wasn't there. She heard her scream and cry.
And, if she remembers... she saw her when she killed Katniss in the woods. The first stab and then all the ones after. She doesn't even know how long it took for her to die. How many blows in killed her. Maybe just the first. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she doesn't remember.
But Clove knows this girl knows her. Knows something more real than she's ever wanted anyone except maybe Cato to see.]
Something happened to people on the draft. They called it a disease. They changed. No reason, no... nothing. Not even animals. Like muttations -- they only wanted to kill. Not just the Third Party. People who were sent on the draft, too.
They didn't care who you were. They just wanted to kill.
And people here? Who weren't sick or affected or whatever happened to them. They told me not to kill. That it wasn't their fault.
[Which it wasn't. But it had been a threat. A very potent threat.
[written / filtered 50%]
Pushed every direction but the one she wants to go in.
Like the Academy. Like the Capitol. Like the Games.
Even here, there's a "right" and a "wrong" choice. They don't want individual thought. They want agreement. That's the only kind of correct individual thought. Just like every tribute should be unique in their interviews. Unique by design of their mentor and stylist. It's not the real boy or girl on that stage, not really. Sometimes it shines through, but usually it's just the act. Even the outlying districts do it.
But Katniss.
Katniss has been in the Games. Not just seen them, not just heard about them. The cameras are always watching, but some personas can't always hold up. She might not know everything -- like the trackerjacker mess -- but she saw the end. She saw what a proud career was reduced to. Because she trusted someone who wasn't there. She heard her scream and cry.
And, if she remembers... she saw her when she killed Katniss in the woods. The first stab and then all the ones after. She doesn't even know how long it took for her to die. How many blows in killed her. Maybe just the first. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she doesn't remember.
But Clove knows this girl knows her. Knows something more real than she's ever wanted anyone except maybe Cato to see.]
Something happened to people on the draft. They called it a disease. They changed. No reason, no... nothing. Not even animals. Like muttations -- they only wanted to kill. Not just the Third Party. People who were sent on the draft, too.
They didn't care who you were. They just wanted to kill.
And people here? Who weren't sick or affected or whatever happened to them. They told me not to kill. That it wasn't their fault.
[Which it wasn't. But it had been a threat. A very potent threat.
Katniss would understand.]