shenevermisses | 16th Throw - [ written / action ]

[Written:]

I want to work for the Malnosso. [It's written because she wants to say it, but she doesn't trust her voice.]

I want to be out of this enclosure, working for them. Especially on the battlefield. If they'd just let me, my knives are theirs.

I hate this waiting. Hate it. Sure, time to heal after the fight. Time to rest. But I know how this goes. How long it'll be before I have a knife in my hand for anything other than hunting. Before I get to really fight again.

I hate it.

Why can we just sign up? Go into battle and let that be that. Leave us there, provide supplies, die and come back again and again. I'm useful in a fight. Sitting around here? It's pointless.

[Action:

Clove hasn't spent much time at the apartment. She's been holed up at the camp she established when she first came.

Tonight, for the first time since she got back, there's a fire. Plenty of kindling and proper logs, but also... ball and oval-like bits of wood being thrown in.

All the carving she'd done when Cato had been worrying about her? It's all going into the fire now. Burning.

It was stupid to do it. To pretend she could have something other than battle. She knows now, better than she did before maybe-- that's all she's good for.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not your war, though, anymore than it's mine. Is waiting out there any better than waiting in here?

...If you want some company or someone to train with, let me know. I'll show you the style of knives we use where I come from; they're a little different than the ones you carry.

I don't want company.

[She probably needs it, but she doesn't want it. The draft... took its toll. Not in injuries, though she's still recovering from a few of those, but from worse wounds for her. Wounds that aren't physical.]

[Her answer doesn't surprise him. He's used to people who need space when they're upset or grieving.

He probably shouldn't push it, but...]

If you go out there to die over and over, you might not come back. I don't think it's a guarantee. And even if you do, don't you lose something important every time?

They haven't killed me yet.

[And maybe her death would take her memories, let her forget what she is.]

Good. Why give them more opportunities?

[He's a ninja. He understands fighting and risking his life, Chouji just never wants to do so needlessly.]

[At first Loki does not really notice the fire he's too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He has been walking for quite a while, still busy with processing everything that has happened during the draft.

He passes Clove quickly only to stop halfway when he finally smells said fire.

He turns to look and watches for a moment how Clove tosses round pieces of wood in the fire.]

Ah! Clove!

[The tone of his voice is a chipper one and he approaches her with a smile on his face.]

It has been quite a long time. Are you well?

Edited 2013-04-08 20:06 (UTC)

What kind of life is that to live? [ To her, the only reason to fight is so that there can be peace; that doesn't sound like what Clove wants. ]

Because it's what I'm good at. I want to be useful to them. And I hate being stuck here, waiting for them to need me for something.

The kind of life I'm good at.

[Clove shuts her eyes at the sound of her name. She wants to pretend it doesn't exist, that she's out here alone. But she knows she can't, so she opens her eyes and looks at him.]

Loki.

[It's not a warm greeting, not in the slightest. He's always talked about people getting along, about allies and friends. But he's one who'd turn on her. If he's friends or even allies with Twelve, with Katniss... he'll turn on her.

Maybe he'll even want to kill her. Once Twelve tells him. If she even knows him. Or maybe it wouldn't matter. After all, killing is killing to some of these people.]

What do you want?

[Because he has to want something. Everyone wants something from her.]

[The cold greeting kind of takes him aback and the bright smile turns into a smaller one. Finally he plops down next to her.]

What I want?

[He shrugs.]

Perhaps an explanation about these round, wooden objects would be nice. Am I correct to imply that you have taken a liking to wood carving?

You're wrong. [She hasn't taken an interest in wood carving.

She had taken an interest in it. And it had gone. Put out fast, killing the slowly glowing ember.

And, on that thought, she tosses another carving -- oblong with a few curves, a rough attempt, perhaps, at a simple bird -- into the fire.]

Their main intent is to find a way to escape by their own regard. Although death is not permanent, we are also only so expendable that constant death would not possibly have any lead to the experimentation results they desire.

Would you really want to spend your time in an endless battle?

Yes, I would.

Why go into a battle knowing neither side will win?

Why sit around a village doing absolutely nothing while enjoying food, shelter, clothes, and supplies provided for you?

I agree with you. Do they just want people to die out there? Why not take combatants?

[He's angry, whether at them, the situation, or himself for not finding a way to be taken, he doesn't know.]

Take combatants and not bring us back here until we want to come back. It didn't last long enough, the fight.

[She says, even as her wounds haven't finished healing.

But when there's no battle, there's time to think. When there aren't loud sounds and screaming, she can hear her own mind working.

And she hates it.]

We're limited by the Malnosso to be able to truly do anything else. We are here for their benefit and not ours, that much is clear.

I'd prefer to actually do something. Even if it's not as much as I want to. I don't like just sitting around, letting someone else provide everything for me. I like to feel like I'm helping them when they ask for it.

Even when being sent out on dangerous drafts and susceptible to shifts, both against our will, is their way of asking for our help?

Do you only wish to fight, Clove?

Some of us like the drafts. And since we're taking what they give?. We should expect to pay for it, however they want.

Yes. It's what I'm good at.

To what end? Do you only fight because you're good at it?

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