Clove (
shenevermisses) wrote2012-09-30 09:33 am
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9th throw - [ video ]
[It's an awful, awful feeling. Like there's something missing. Someone, actually.
She can't sleep. Because someone's supposed to be there.
Has he forgotten her? She can't really be upset or angry. She's forgotten him, after all.
But! The Journal. That's the way to go!
It's pretty straight-forward, after all, and she gets it working finally. Even has the video going.
She smiles.]
Um. Hi. My name's Clover.
Sorry. Not sure if I'm using this thing right. Hope so.
Anyway... Like... well... a lot of people. I can't remember much. Just got the little card to help me out. But...
It says I'm engaged. I'm supposed to get married.
But I... don't know who to. Which sounds really stupid, I know.
Anyway. I have this. [She holds up a chain around her neck, a single ring on the end of it. It's too big for her, definitely a man's ring. She figures it's got to be her engagement ring. Something about that -- having a man's -- seems right to her brain.] And... I think he gave it to me. So. Maybe this is a really stupid question, but I want to know.
Anyone recognize it?
I want to find him. Please? And thanks.
She can't sleep. Because someone's supposed to be there.
Has he forgotten her? She can't really be upset or angry. She's forgotten him, after all.
But! The Journal. That's the way to go!
It's pretty straight-forward, after all, and she gets it working finally. Even has the video going.
She smiles.]
Um. Hi. My name's Clover.
Sorry. Not sure if I'm using this thing right. Hope so.
Anyway... Like... well... a lot of people. I can't remember much. Just got the little card to help me out. But...
It says I'm engaged. I'm supposed to get married.
But I... don't know who to. Which sounds really stupid, I know.
Anyway. I have this. [She holds up a chain around her neck, a single ring on the end of it. It's too big for her, definitely a man's ring. She figures it's got to be her engagement ring. Something about that -- having a man's -- seems right to her brain.] And... I think he gave it to me. So. Maybe this is a really stupid question, but I want to know.
Anyone recognize it?
I want to find him. Please? And thanks.
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Not unless...
Damn those Gamemakers. She's only thankful that this time, for whatever reason, she was spared. Who'd look after Peeta then?]
The card is wrong.
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I guess it could be.
[She smiles, sheepish.] I... only remember about three days bacck. So the card's all I've really got to go on. Well. And this.
[She holds the ring to the camera again.
Her district token. Snatched from Katniss the moment it was offered last Reaping Day. Hidden under her shirt in a blink. Concealed throughout the Games.
Now displayed.
And she's smiling.]
How do you know my name? Or... what my name isn't. Or... whatever..
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But right now, the reminder is unnerving. The way she easily, almost happily, shows off the ring to anyone watching this now. And the smile... She doesn't like it. It's too friendly, too much like the girl that once upon a time, a horrible shift made her friends with. A friend she could really use right now.]
We're... [Not friends. No. No longer tributes and no longer enemies. Not quite allies, either.] ...both from Panem. I knew you before you came here.
[You died trying to kill me.]
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[The word is tested, said without any connectiom.
Panem. District Two. Hunger Games. She has no power of association. No memories or fears. None born from that, at least.
She considers it carefully. Her guilt and sincerity are obvious.]
I... I'm sorry. I don't remember.
[Her eyes widen suddenly, struck by a though. She smiles again.]
Wait! You know me. So! So--
Do you know who gave me this? What he's like? Please?
[Still so sincere. And so full of happiness and hope.]
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But there'll be no mention of the Games. If this is an experiment, the girl will remember soon enough anyway. Why make matters worse?]
You said your father gave it to you. [And without mention of the Games, there's no need for explanation of a District token. Lying does not come naturally to Katniss but she tries anyway.] To remember him by.
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It... does say I lost my parents. Six months ago.
[A bit of cruelty? Or honesty? Because it has been about six months since the tributes left their homes and families, twenty never to return.]
It's my father's.
[Almost a question. Testing it. Trying to sense any familiarity in it. But everything's blank.]
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And watching the couple there in District Two during that horrible Victory Tour had been so painful. Another bad memory that had been added to the ever growing list.]
That's what you told me.
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[She can't mourn her parents. Not right now. Because she doesn't remember them, doesn't remember losing them. There are no traces of whether they were kind or cruel, lenient or strict... Without any memory, she can't summon any grief. Something's gone, yes, but something she can't remember having or losing.
Knowing she's supposed to get married, though. She has someone who loves her, who might be looking for her, and she doesn't know anything about him. That, she can miss. Because that exists in the here and now, somehow. And it's gone.]
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[The confusion is genuine. Doesn't she live with her district partner? All signs of their encampment in the woods seemed to indicate enough. Why wouldn't she be with him? Did he lose his memories, too?]
Cato?
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The... card I've got. It says I'm engaged. So I'm... trying to find him.
[This is what bothers her. Not knowing what she's lost means it doesn't hurt. But not knowing someone she has.
But--]
Or... is that not true? Like... like you say my name's wrong.
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[She remembers. Remembers the way the girl shouted the boy's name when Thresh clutched the heavy rock in his hand. Remembers the frantic sound of Cato's voice when he called back. The way he knelt over her body, begging her to stay with him. His District partner. Someone he could go home with, were they to win.
And then she remembers another game played by the Malnosso. A memory given to Clove where she did win the Hunger Games. She and Cato both. And they had a baby girl, didn't they?
She never though about it much before. What the two tributes from District Two could mean to each other. Maybe it took recognizing that she was in love herself. But looking down at the prone Peeta made Clove's worry all the more clear.]
I'm sorry. I don't know.
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[She means it. Though and through. There's no reserve, no suspicion, no fear of help and the gratitude that follows. No sense of a scale that balances, of chains that make it harder to kill.
Because she doesn't know how dangerous it is to take or give, the kind of contract that makes.
Her voice, though faltering there for a moment out of discouragement, picks back up. It's easy to do when she doesn't have the past reminding her of what she's seen and done and known.]
Guess I'll just keep looking. If he's here, I'll find him eventually.
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But it's not savored. She only nods acknowledgement and then presses her lips together thoughtfully.]
Where are you?
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The card said I live there, and... no one's shown up yet to kick me out, so. Just sort of... stayed there.
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Do you remember the forests at all?
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Should I?
[She's wondered about the forests these past few days, yes, but she hasn't yet gone in them, let herself explore.]
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[Too close, in her opinion, to the treehouse that she and Rue lived in. But so long as they kept their treaty, she wasn't going to push. And Katniss did spend almost all her time living in town now. Her claim to the treehouse was not what it once was.
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[It meant little to her, the words and the name. But, it was a name. Repeated again and again.
Cato.
Should she know that name? This girl said she knew her. And she kept saying that name. In connection to her.]
...What's he like?
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Another question she doesn't know how to answer. She suspects that the Cato she met in the Games, the Cato that still harasses her now, might not be the same boy that Clove knows. How would he treat his allies? The allies he didn't intend to betray? She doesn't know. She doubts that she'll ever know.]
Dedicated.
[Dedicated to Clove. To winning the Games, to not being shown up by a girl from one of the outlining Districts. It's a word that works.]
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Not a bad word. She still has questions, but, well, maybe this girl doesn't know her that well. Just a little. It's still more than she has to go off anywhere else.]
...So. Sorry. Kind of... awkward question. But...
What's your name? I... I'm sorry to ask. I just...
Like I said. I don't remember anything.
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Katniss. [It's strange to tell her this. Clove should know her name. All of Panem should.] Katniss Everdeen.
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