shenevermisses | 16th Throw - [ written / action ]

[Written:]

I want to work for the Malnosso. [It's written because she wants to say it, but she doesn't trust her voice.]

I want to be out of this enclosure, working for them. Especially on the battlefield. If they'd just let me, my knives are theirs.

I hate this waiting. Hate it. Sure, time to heal after the fight. Time to rest. But I know how this goes. How long it'll be before I have a knife in my hand for anything other than hunting. Before I get to really fight again.

I hate it.

Why can we just sign up? Go into battle and let that be that. Leave us there, provide supplies, die and come back again and again. I'm useful in a fight. Sitting around here? It's pointless.

[Action:

Clove hasn't spent much time at the apartment. She's been holed up at the camp she established when she first came.

Tonight, for the first time since she got back, there's a fire. Plenty of kindling and proper logs, but also... ball and oval-like bits of wood being thrown in.

All the carving she'd done when Cato had been worrying about her? It's all going into the fire now. Burning.

It was stupid to do it. To pretend she could have something other than battle. She knows now, better than she did before maybe-- that's all she's good for.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you don't mind me asking, but why are you in such a hurry to kill others? Isn't it best to not have to fight all the time?

[It's an honest questions. Spoken as if he doesn't know the answer himself.]

I know the Third Party aren't holding back against us, but to want to spend every day fighting them, for people who don't respect us. I guess, I'm wondering why someone would want to live that sort of life. It sounds a bit... [He trails off for a moment. Looking for the right word.] Stressful to me.

Like I've said -- I like to fight, I like to kill, and I'm good at it.

Just because you're good at something, doesn't mean you have to like it. You really enjoy killing others that much?

Yes, I do.

But what makes ending someone's life so enjoyable?

One less person who can kill me.

But there aren't people here in Luceti that want to kill you and people come back from the dead here. Is it really still enjoyable to you to kill someone just for them to return again?

That's why I kill people on the drafts and missions. The ones I'm supposed to kill.

But isn't there a difference between enjoying killing and being forced to?

I'm not forced to kill anyone. Everyone has a choice when they go on a draft or a mission. They can be non-combatants or they can fight. I kill for them because I choose to -- because I like it.

I guess I've always seen the drafts as being more of a kill or be killed kind of situation. Nothing I'd ever really look forward to doing.

Except the Malnosso offer the option of not killing them. I'm just bad at taking that option.

Well, that option isn't exactly always the most practical in the heat of battle anyway. So even with that option, when you're right in the moment it's still kill or be killed.

I think I'd have a heart attack though, wanting to live in that moment all the time.

Then it's not for you. That doesn't mean it's not for me.

It just sounds like a pretty sad and lonely life to me. I can't imagine it would be easy to make friends while fighting all the time.

I like my life.

Really? I'd hate being so alone all the time.

Then we're different.

Yeah. [No argument there.] Sometimes I wish I was better at being alone.

16th Throw - [ written / action ]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]

[Voice]