16th Throw - [ written / action ]

[shenevermisses]

[Written:]

I want to work for the Malnosso. [It's written because she wants to say it, but she doesn't trust her voice.]

I want to be out of this enclosure, working for them. Especially on the battlefield. If they'd just let me, my knives are theirs.

I hate this waiting. Hate it. Sure, time to heal after the fight. Time to rest. But I know how this goes. How long it'll be before I have a knife in my hand for anything other than hunting. Before I get to really fight again.

I hate it.

Why can we just sign up? Go into battle and let that be that. Leave us there, provide supplies, die and come back again and again. I'm useful in a fight. Sitting around here? It's pointless.


[Action:

Clove hasn't spent much time at the apartment. She's been holed up at the camp she established when she first came.

Tonight, for the first time since she got back, there's a fire. Plenty of kindling and proper logs, but also... ball and oval-like bits of wood being thrown in.

All the carving she'd done when Cato had been worrying about her? It's all going into the fire now. Burning.

It was stupid to do it. To pretend she could have something other than battle. She knows now, better than she did before maybe-- that's all she's good for.]

Comments

[shenevermisses]

They supply our food and shelter and supplies. Working for them is a way to repay them.

[16autumnroad]

The experiments and the fighting they ask us to do aren't enough for that? They provide shelter, yes, but also captivity and very little information.

I appreciate the food, though.

[shenevermisses]

The fighting is working for them, I just do it without complaining, unlike most of the people here. They could be a lot worse to us than they are.

[16autumnroad]

I didn't complain about the fighting, not really.

I just think that they ought to share more of their gathered intelligence with us. 'They could be worse' is different from 'They do everything they can to help.' No one can make informed decisions regarding whether to work with them because they don't provide enough information. [And who knows if the information would be trustworthy if they did.]

Working with someone without knowing their intentions means you may wind up working against your own interests.

[shenevermisses]

My own interests are staying here and staying alive. Since most of Luceti wants to get back to the world they came from, working with them is pretty obviously against my own interests.

[16autumnroad]

I didn't realize people wanted to stay.

[There is only the very briefest of pauses. Neji. Neji is dead as soon as he goes home. Chouji saw him die, then saw him here, and Neji knows now. Neji won't want to leave; Chouji doesn't want him to either. He doesn't ask Clove why she doesn't want to go home; whatever her reason, it means things were bad where she came from. Instead, Chouji makes a single comment, softly, almost to himself.] I should have, of course, as soon as I stopped to think about it.

[shenevermisses]

There's nothing to go back to.

[Her voice is casual, as if that's just a simple statement of fact and not a reflection on having lost everything.]

[16autumnroad]

[He really shouldn't push it, but Chouji asks one last question. He'll leave Clove alone if she doesn't want to answer.]

Is that true for everyone from your world, or you specifically? [Asuma-sensei and Neji are both on their second chances at life here, but Chouji still has something to go back to. He hopes. Only if they win the war, though.]

[shenevermisses]

[Clove takes a few moments before she answers.]

It's true for me and Cato. He's-- He's my roommate here. We're from the same world. Went to school together.

[16autumnroad]

It's true for a couple people from my world too. I have to go back, if I can. We're still fighting, and my comrades need me.

But I'm glad you're here, and that you have him. I hope you get to stay.

[shenevermisses]

I hope so, too. I plan to do everything I can to get to.