18th Throw - [ voice ]

[shenevermisses]

I think the weirdest part about being here -- the part I'm never really going to get used to -- is having time.

[There's no Career act today, so Clove doesn't bother with the video. She doesn't want to have to smile when she feels... weird.

Not good, not bad. Just weird.

It's what happens, she's pretty sure, when she thinks too much.]

I didn't get that where I was from. In the Academy, the days were scheduled. Even when we didn't have classes -- like when we'd sometimes go home for the weekend -- I sort of just... kept that schedule. I didn't know what else to do. I even still sort of do.

But... here... we've got time.

Maybe a little, maybe a lot. But it's time.

[She's rambling, and she knows it, but the thought's been weighing on her for awhile. It's something that keeps getting stirred up every time she thinks it's gone.]

So. Let's say there's something you wanted to do where you came from. You know you can't go back; you'll never get to do it there.

Would you... do it here? Because you can and because you have the time to do it.

Comments

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

There's never a "right" time for anything. There's a chance, and you either take it or you don't. Sometimes you might get another chance, sometimes you won't.

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

Yeah. I've had a lot of chances while I've been here. And I keep letting them go by.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

Are you afraid?

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

...Sort of. Which is really dumb. Fighting doesn't scare me, but this does.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

That's only natural. Fighting is something you know-- the process, the potential outcomes, all of those are things you've thought about and experienced before. But whatever this is, it's something completely new.

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

Completely. I mean... I... think I'm going to try it. I just have to do it.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

And I suppose you're not going to tell us what "it" is.

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

Not until I do it. Someone else deserves to be the first to know. I'm just... kind of trying to get advice.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

Advice is easier to give when you have more specifics to base it on.

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

Probably, but I've got... enough to go on, I think.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

Hmm. Well, good luck with whatever it is. If there's one thing this place is good at, it's giving us opportunities.

[As Clove might notice, for this Gai is a far cry from the hardened soldier she's encountered in battle before. He almost seems... happy?]

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

[For her part, Clove... is trying not to comment when she notices differences in people. After all, someone she previously got along with... Well. If his recent address to the community was any indication, he wouldn't want much to do with her now.

So maybe if she just pretends everything's normal, it can stay that way.]

Thank you.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

[Given how subjective "normal" is in a place like Luceti, far be it from Gai to fault her for acting the same way she always did. Frankly, it's something he wouldn't really want pointed out either, as he's still trying to deal with the whole problem of suddenly having feelings and emotions that are strange and new to him.

The less anyone makes a big deal out of it, the better.]

The only way to know what's at the bottom is to jump.

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

Just have to hope it's something you can handle.

[The metaphor makes sense. It's appropriate enough. But her mind goes to the dangers. To the threats that might be lurking at the bottom. Or just the pain of the landing.]

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

In other words, exactly like life in general.

[If there is one constant truth about life, it's that it can be notoriously unpredictable.]

[Voice]

[shenevermisses]

That usually springs trouble on me. I don't go seeking it out.

...Most of the time.

[Voice]

[voidseeing]

Things get boring without any trouble. That's what friends are for-- to give your life a little adventure.