shenevermisses | 18th Throw

I think the weirdest part about being here -- the part I'm never really going to get used to -- is having time.

[There's no Career act today, so Clove doesn't bother with the video. She doesn't want to have to smile when she feels... weird.

Not good, not bad. Just weird.

It's what happens, she's pretty sure, when she thinks too much.]

I didn't get that where I was from. In the Academy, the days were scheduled. Even when we didn't have classes -- like when we'd sometimes go home for the weekend -- I sort of just... kept that schedule. I didn't know what else to do. I even still sort of do.

But... here... we've got time.

Maybe a little, maybe a lot. But it's time.

[She's rambling, and she knows it, but the thought's been weighing on her for awhile. It's something that keeps getting stirred up every time she thinks it's gone.]

So. Let's say there's something you wanted to do where you came from. You know you can't go back; you'll never get to do it there.

Would you... do it here? Because you can and because you have the time to do it.

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I would.

[ She'd never get the chance, otherwise. Like Clove. ]

...For however long it lasts, it's time. I don't think wasting it is a good thing.

No matter the risk?

[She can't help but ask it. After all, this is Katniss's sister. The answer doesn't surprise her, not really.]

I can't say that. [ This sounds like an admission, although it's said thoughtfully. ]

There are probably things I wouldn't risk, even here. If it put anyone I loved in danger, I probably wouldn't be able to do it - whatever it was. But...there's a lot of risks I would take in this place, I think.

[ Though she'd died on a risk back home. ]

[Excuse the chuckle, Prim. It's sort of a "how cute" reaction.]

That seems to be the general opinion. If anyone's going to get hurt, you shouldn't do it.

Well, I'm a medic. I mean, I'd like to be. Still. I think the opinion you get depends on...a lot of things.

[ She's not unaware of what Katniss might say to this - or has said. ]

I think really that if you want to do something, you should. We - like you said, you're not going to get another chance. And...why not take the chance to be happy?

In whatever way you can be.

[It's compelling. Not because of the drive to be happy, not really. But because this is another person who understands. Understands not only Panem but also understands something that even Katniss doesn't. Not really.

She understands what it's like to be living when you know you're not supposed to be. Not because you don't think you should be but because you know you're dead. Because you know there's nothing to go back to.]

It's... worth thinking about, at least. [She can't commit to it yet. Doesn't trust herself enough yet. But the thought is there. The hope is there.]

[ Prim's not sure exactly what they're talking about, but she can't help but find herself hoping Clove does come to some sort of conclusion on the side of taking risks. Even if she's not sure what it is...it's something the girl wants to do, isn't it?

And with nothing to go back to once they leave this place - if they leave this place - she hopes Clove makes the most of it. Even despite the things that had happened in the Games. ]

Right! There's nothing to be lost from thinking about it. Even if you decide not to.

Thinking about it doesn't hurt anyone. [Even if it's hard to think about it. To consider chancing that uncertainty.]

This place-- [The girl means nothing to her. Except for being the sister of the girl from Twelve in the Games. But, in some strange way, Katniss has come to mean something to her. Something good.

Which means Prim means... something. She doesn't know what.] You been doing okay?

[ It's weird to hear that question from Clove. The District Two tribute, from the first games Katniss was in.

But Prim doesn't pause for more than a half-second, only too willing to accept that strange question, which sounds like some sort of concern or at least acknowledgement. ]

Yes. I've...got a job, at Seventh Heaven. And they're letting me help out at the clinic now, so I can learn more. Study.

[ It's said a little shyly, because even back home she'd been getting used to the idea of being a doctor not being a dream. ]

18th Throw - [ voice ]

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