shenevermisses | 27th Throw - [ written

[The arguing with Cato has been... difficult. So has trying to get her head on right. The last draft reminded her what she's good at, but it also reminded her that she's only good at that.

Doing a bit of cleaning and organizing? Meant she found a stuffed bear and picture she'd hidden a long time ago. A picture from the world in which she and Cato won the Games and were crowned co-Victors.

Where she had a baby girl.]

I always wanted kids.

That was my plan at the Academy, actually. Before the Reaping.

I was going to graduate, take over my dad's job as foreman of the marble quarry near our village, get married, and have kids. I always wanted at least two. A boy and a girl.

A couple shifts here gave me part of that.

I hadn't died in my world, and I had a daughter.

[A pause, and she writes a correction.]

We hadn't died. We had a daughter.

Just before I left my District, my mom found out she was pregnant. I went home that weekend to see my parents, and they were getting along better than ever. They actually seemed to like being around each other.

Maybe kids help.

[Maybe kids would help.]

Threaded | Flat

I'm not so sure that's the right idea...having a baby doesn't fix problems if you're having a problem in your marriage or your relationship. Not that I know what's going on with you or your family, but it's just a band aid. Baby bliss might distract from the real problems, but it doesn't fix them and as soon as the stress from child rearing becomes real, whatever those problems are will just come back, probably worse than they were...and now you've got a child in the middle of it.

Kids... they change everything. Not just how your life goes. The whole way you look at the world changes once you have these tiny little people depending on you to take care of them and teach them.

Kids are amazing. But I'd be careful about saying they help. They're a lot of work and it's for the long haul. But when you're ready for it and you have the right partner, it's worth all that.

[He's so completely and utterly in love with his family.]

( This entry tugs at her attention and she closes her eyes. No, kids aren't the answer. Clove needs to know that. )

Having children is no way to repair a relationship.

[She considers asking if Cato's taken her on the picnic yet...but she doesn't want to betray Cato's trust since it doesn't seem likely that he did.]

I think talking would help with fixing problems. Maybe marriage counseling with one of the more experienced adults here, if you need someone to help guide the two of you along and mediate. Or you could go with relationship counseling with younger people in a long term relationship, possibly.

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